Just Throwing It Out There

That last post was disgustingly serious, wasn't it? Really. Who am I to tell you where you should and shouldn't breakfast over your weekend? It is your truckin' weekend after all, isn't it??

Well, perhaps. But I'm not quite done with the cafe scene yet...

My concern now rests with the latest trend of people rating themselves on the strength of their coffee of choice. You know what I'm talking about. How many times have you heard someone comment on how strong their coffee is? All the time! (Though these people only whisper their comments quietly to their fellow sippers, and it goes no further than the table.)

Now, consider those people who actually complain to the wait staff about their coffee. Those special special people who should really just spare everyone the drama and inject their caffeine in the privacy of their own home. No coffee is too strong, too tough, nay, too packed with manly bitterness, for these kids. Milk is a soft option and sugar (cubes or otherwise) is for pussy-boys.

And so it goes that, because these junkies are so outspoken and such a hassle for cafe staff to deal with, I cop a super-concentrated cup of ruddy tar every time I order a skinny cap (weak with extra milk and sugar).

Well, I'm not whispering about how strong my coffee is any more! People! I'll give it to you straight! STOP MAKING REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY STRONG COFFEE!!

And as for those jumped-up coffee Nazis out there who'd rather lose an eye than admit that their extra-caffeinated cuppa tastes like c**p, just take a second to put your fat head aside and think about the rest of us the next time you're about to go loco.

I will say no more than that. You know who you are.