Don't Ask What Facebook Can Do For You...

It is with much regret that I have come to accept that I am a complete and utter Facebook wench. It's much like being a Googlewhore, only sadder.

After a rough beginning to our relationship, it has now blossomed into a whirlwind affair of emails and apps. But it's not as though I haven't been putting the hours in. I mean, just today I completed Facebook's '10 Second Interview' and it took, like, 3 hours or something. Mad.

The other little gem of software I've been checking out lately is the oh-so-sweet Skype. Absolutely everybody should be using this awesome prince of technology. Cheap, effective and simple enough for me to use somewhat adequately. So, three ticks there. Get on it people.

Also on the PC front, we've started to give yet another MMORPG a run - LOTRO, or Lord of the Rings Online to all the non-nerds. I'm still unconvinced that it can match Conan's sweet sweet graphics, but it has NO PvP option. I repeat, NO PvP option. So it's lovely and civil and all good to me. Psych.

Moving away from the world of IT, Jesse and I have also been getting into a bit of hard-core board-gaming action of late. (And you thought this post couldn't get geekier, shame on you). The latest tabletop pleasure to hit our house's fair shores is Shadows Over Camelot, a co-operative game where everyone gets to play a wickedly cool knight of the round table.... or Sir Kay, who I have totally never heard of and who looks a bit dodgy. Aaanyways, the take home message is that this is a super-fun game and is even more enjoyable when consumed whilst donning silly hats.

In truth, I sense that most things are more enjoyable whilst donning silly hats...

My Avatar Brings All the Boys to the Yard

Drop that taco and hold everything. For rumour has it that there is a new, multi-online-player thingy that is going to BLOW YOUR MIND. That's right. Blow it right out of your TINY LITTLE SKULL.

And its name?

AGE OF COOOONAAAAAN! (expressed a la Captain Caveman stylings)...
Or 'AoC' to all you sweet l33t speakers...
Or "Wench Tycoon" for all those who can't talk about one PC game without referring to another.

I'm not sure what the goal of the game is. Who the characters are. Or what the many laborious quests may involve. But, fear not, for more importantly, I have been reliably informed that you can make CHICK CHARACTERS. Which is fully excellent. Particularly as I find character creation to be the most fun part of most of these games. And with CHICK CHARACTERS available, you know all the boys gonna be brung to the yard. (Even if those boys are oddly playing CHICK CHARACTERS themselves. Pervs.)

Aaaanyway, I cannot cannot cannot wait to check out the smooth moves of this new release when Jesse and I crash Jim's place on Monday.

Woot for the long weekend! Woot for Jim! And woot for the wenches!

World of Warcraft (and Silly Little Boys)

A most amazing thing happened to me the other day when I was playing Warcraft...

Most Warcraft sessions involve me seeking out fellow players to help in the odd quest. But the other day a strange thing happened - I received an unprecedented number of group invites, guild membership proposals and unsolicited comments.

One guy (a pov little lvl 1 human) even singled out my alt's* avatar** (Tinks) amongst the throng outside Stormwind auction house, and proceeded to follow me to the bank and out to the Stormwind gates. He soon whispered me***, which I stupidly responded to, and the next thing I knew he was following me out the gates into Elwynn Forest. I tried to hide behind one of the castle's buttresses on the way out, but no cigar.

He asked if he could hang out with me, but I explained that with me being a mighty lvl 12 and him a lowly lvl 1, I just didn't think the relationship would work. Despite this seemingly reasonable argument, he blindly followed me into Elwynn Forest where he was promptly slaughtered by a murloc. Sadly not before he offered to pay**** me to let him hang around though.

(And yes, I asked him what exactly he thought he'd be buying, and he responded with 'A friend').

(Puh-).

(-Lease).

Fortunately, I ran away before he ressed***** and haven't heard from him since.

I guess what still stumps me is what the big deal was the other day. Jesse thinks it may have been my sparkling personality. But I don't know...




Methinks Tinks' newly-acquired Bloodspattered Loincloth of the Bear may also bear some responsibility.


*"Alt" - alternative character (generally created when supreme boredom with your initial character kicks in).
**"Avatar" - visual representation of a character.
***"Whisper" - the act of sending a real-time message exclusively to one player.
****"Pay me" - in WoW money of course... what do you take me for?
*****"Ressed" - resurrected. .. duh...

Noobs

Although I feel somewhat advanced in the WoW arena these days - being up with the acronyms and having created my first alt - I haven't forgotten those painful, early days as a noob.

And so, for all the noobs out there... this one's for you.

Answers

Ok, so I have been in exceptionally poor blogging form lately. The subtle chastising from certain parties who will remain unnamed has made this shameful fact abundantly clear. But let me explain...

We have recently committed the cardinal sin of any serious bloggartiste. Yes. It's true. We have succumbed to the irresistibly evil pull of the greatest of MMORPGs*, World of Warcraft.

Given my new-found dedication to 'WoW', I would really appreciate it if you could all call me by my avatar name from now on - Stara. And please refrain from introducing me as a friend from school, work or such. I would much prefer the representation that we met at the night elf camp for beginners in Teldrassil where I was the most promising druid to hit the scene in a good couple of weeks. Also, please avoid any taint of sarcasm when commenting on how you admire my dashing long ears and striking green hair - it would be a poor decision to forget that I have a Medicine Staff of the Monkey with +3 Bashing, +4 Gashing and your name all over it.

Please also bear in mind that whilst you may be whiling away your time waiting for me to post on this blog, I am saving a world. Saving a world dammit. The Horde aren't just going to slay themselves. Someone has to be ever-watchful and look out for the deeries and squirrellies and things. And that someone might as well be me. So a little patience would be much appreciated during these perilous times.

Thank you.


P.S. Yes, the reason why I'm suddenly blogging IS because the WoW server is down for servicing. What's your point?



*For the less nerdically inclined, MMORPG = massively multiplayer online role playing game = virtual world with lots of equally tragic people running around pretending to be kick-arse war machines wreaking havoc upon an evil world of undead coolies.

I Am Getting Ooooold

I am getting old.

This fact hit me in a sudden burst of disappointment just the other day.

In a fit of unprecedented reminiscence, I dug out an ancient copy of Duke Nukem 3D - the definitive game of my schooling years - and slapped it onto the ol' PC. Naturally, it was with great, no-holds-barred anticipation that I mentally prepared myself for the rediscovery of this classic game.

I exercised no emotional restraint. I could taste the immeasurable victories which lay tantalisingly before me, and had committed my heart and soul to the game before it had finished installing.

Then I hit that glorious "New Game" button...


Well. I don't know what happened to Duke Nukem 3D over the last 10 or so years. But the graphics are crap. And the wiggly running around makes me sick. I can't aim, can barely jump, and jet-packing is entirely out of the question.

In short, this hack of a first-person shooter bears absolutely no resemblance to the Duke of my glory days.

And yet, as I rapidly uninstalled this abomination, a tiny, evil voice which would not be quietened whispered oh so gently that perhaps, just perhaps, the problem was the user and not the game.




Shut up little voice.

Oblivion Anon

I've played some great games in my time. Sims, Duke Nukem 3D, Sleuth. But recently, I've been overwhelmingly disappointed with the same ol' same ol', boring, boycentric games pervading the market. Ok, I understand that the backers of these games are too nancy-pantsed to actually lash out on an innovative game that could be a monumental flop. But that understanding doesn't help me when I'm ready to spend some cold, hard cash.

I cannot overly stress my disgust at the current Xbox 360 range. What an absolute pack of rubbish - mindless zombie-smacking, army-stacking and sports games. BLURGH!

My only happy place in this void of misery, is the mighty, epic saga that is The Elder Scrolls IV - or 'Oblivion' for short. I love love love this game, and am most distressed that I've basically finished it.

Where oh where are the little jumpy man games for Xbox? The arcade games are lame as. Oh, how I wish they would bring back the classics... Captain Comic, Commander Keen, Double Dragon. (Clearly alliteration is the sign of a top game).

The take-home message? Work harder moles. Chicks like consoles too.

Genius

I must share my excitement. Amongst normal people, it is probably a little known fact that a most stupendous game is coming out on XBox 360 at the end of this year...

VIVA PINATA!!!

I love sim games.

I love animals. I love plants. I love pinatas.

And Viva Pinata unites all these things in one magical sim game! Wooohoooooooo!

Anyone who's keen to find out what I'm babbling about should check out Rare's dedicated VP page - though this site alone really doesn't do it justice.